April 2009
152 posts
Listen
“@Jerm_bob7 Two bags of the world’s best coffee — coming your way....”
– bendelaney
I just talked to...
The most pleasant customer service rep. I have ever talked to…in my entire life.
Am I in Love? Maybe. I doubt our paths will cross, though.
Lindsey from Verison, you give hope to humanity.
“I’m such an asshole, I’m going to name my daughter after a fruit.”
– Jesse (a co-worker) on Chris Martin
One Hand Two Hands, by Gosling
Some good cheese.
March 2009
161 posts
Gathering, by Velour 100
When I was a teenager, I...
Company Meetings...
My notes from a company meetings always end up being quotes that I think are funny, and nothing else. Like today:
“I can understand Bob Sagat with his acoustic guitar, but…” -Courtney
“Suits will fuck you up! That’s what you get for wearing a suit to a gig…those ‘Dancing Idol’ mother fuckers! -Brian
“The Roland had a digital brain fart, but...
Do you hate questions?
“I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time,...”
– Gary, from John Carpenter’s The Thing
Coffee...
come in all shapes and sizes, but most of the time in a cup. You can put all types of flavoring in coffee. This morning my coffee was made for me, and when I asked, “what’s in this, it tastes like straight alcohol! I have to go to work!” I was told:
“2 shots Vodka, 1 shot Butter Schnapps, and 5oz of coffee.”
A pretty good way to start the day. I remembered to say...
Eurovision, by The LK
Drunk girl at bar...
DG: Hey! What's your name!?
Me: Jeremy
DG: I'm Julie! and your name is Steve!
Me: Steve?
Julie: Steve, meet Steve, and that over their is Steve.
Me: *Shaking hands*
Julie: Oh! Have you met Julie?
Julie: Julie, this is Steve.
Me: Oh K! What are you guys up to tonight?
Julie: Is this your friend!?
Me: Yep! Julie, this is Luke.
Luke: Good to meet you!
Julie: No! You're Steve!
Luke: Actually, I'm Steven.
Julie: Oh! Pleasure!
Me: Where are you from?
Julie: Portland! We're on vacation! I've been drunk for three days!
Me: Wow! Are you having fun?
Julie: Wooo!
Luke: I think thats a yes.
Me: Hey, Steven, I'm going to get another pitcher.
Luke: I'll come with.
Julie: Byyyyyye! I Love You!
“I’m throwing my arms around Paris, because only stone and steel accept my...”
– Morrissey, from I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris (Drama King)
A out of state friend calls...
Luke: Hey! Whacha up to?
Me: Workin' it...at work. How 'bout you?
Luke: I'm in Seattle!
Me: What?! Why?
Luke: Sister graduated here.
Me: Nice!
...
Luke: So do you have plans tonight?
Me: Well, ya...but...lets hang out!
At the Academic Conference, by Dent May & His...
(Via/jstn)
Keep A Secret, by The Whitest Boy...
More Cities Target Teens With Daytime Curfews →
Wow, it would suck to be a teen these days.
Mama, I’m Satan, by Cursive
Off their new...
I wish I may, I wish I might...
have the wish I wish tonight:
…that Chris Cornell would stop making music.
Today...
I packed and moved the rest of my things from my old place, to my new georgetown place. It’s odd how doing something as simple moving can be so exhausting.
Now that I have everything here, I’m going to give myself one hour to rest, then I will put everything in it’s place.
The plus side of working by yourself all day, on an almost mindless activity, is that you can get alot of...
Just Sayin'
The Economy is kicking Global Warming’s ass.
Brochure...
(A Woman enters my space, at work.)
Me: Hello! Can I help you?
Woman: I'm passing out brochures for my company.
Me: Oh.
Woman: Here! Take one! (spoken in an almost pissed off tone.)
Me: Thanks, I'll
Woman: It's for bookkeeping! I'm a bookkeeper! (she cut's me off, and still sounds pissy.)
Me: Awesome. Thanks for the brocher, I'll go through it.
Woman: *Walks away, then turns toward me* You know... Your lucky to have a job!
(She is basically yelling at me, which almost makes me laugh.)
Me: Have a nice day!
Woman: Bye!
“I’m afraid that if I meet a girl in portland, she might be a stripper, and...”
– Jesse, a co-worker
Announcement...
This week I will buy, and then wear, hammer pants.
Their is nothing you can do to stop me!
Last Night...
I drank in Ballard, which seems like it has really gone down hill. Why are all of the drinks set at tourism prices? One of the places we went to was fine, but everything else seemed double the price.
Anyway, I had a great time with friends regardless. I’m trying to decide whether getting away with smoking on the bus, or witnessing a man defend a woman’s honor at The Five Point was the...
“Oh my God. She’s so hot. She’s so flippin’ hot. She’s...”
– Flight of the Conchords
Doughnuts...
John: Can I have the duster?
Me: Here you go. Find some dust?
John: When I moved the gaff tape these giant dust doughnuts appeared!
Me: ...Do you want a doughnut, I'm going to Krispy Kreme real quick.
John: I want four.
Me: I'll just get a dozen.
John: What was I doing again?
Me: Dusting.
John: Oh ya.
Me: Be right back.
