I explained my dream to Rick...but you can't read...
Me Txting-to-Rick: You kept on txting of to call the cops in my dream last night.
Rick Txting-to-Me: Huh?
Me Txting-to-Rick: In my dream, you told of to call the cops.
Rick Txting-to-Me: Do you me me instead of of?
Me Txting-to-Rick: Yep.
Rick: *Talks about work*
Me: *Also talks*
R: So what happened in this dream?
J: Oh, it's nothing. I was in this hotel that my family used to go to around New Years but the elevator went in loopty loops, and every once in awhile you would send me a txt that said, "Help! Call The Cops" and it felt real, so I would wake up and check to see if you txted me, but you didn't.
R: That's funny, because you can't read in your dreams.
J: Well... apparently I can! IDK. I was pretty restless last night, maybe I never made it to that level of sleep. Doesn't matter!
R: *Talk about Gear*
J: *Talk about Gear*
The Number 1 Thing Owen Has Said to Someone While...
“You’re busty, we get it! Stop arching your back while you’re sitting! It looks uncomfortable and unnatural, and way to needy”
My Delicious Sandwich, in sandwiched order:
12 Grain Bread Mayo Siracha Tillamook Medium Cheddar Cheese Cucumber Honey Ham Tomato Salt and Pepper Smoked Turkey Baby Spinach Mustard Smoked Turkey Mayo 12 Grain Bread
Hey look! My name is in this article! →
Also, it looks like Kristen Stewart wears our shirt. lol.
Woohoo! 52 days without smoking!
Short Bar Conversation
Random Girl: *Walks over and puts hand on my shoulder*
Random Girl: BTW, I love your dog.
Me: I don't have a dog.
Random Girl: Oh. *Pauses, hand still on shoulder, but is quickly withdrawn* OH! Sorry! Wrong guy! So Sorry!
-------in the distance I hear-----
RG: BTW, I love your dog!
Random guy: thank you!
RG: Blah, Blah! Blahahahahahblah
I’m put together beautifully Big wet bottle in my fist, big wet rose in...– excerpt from The National’s All The Wine, only the first two verses.
Drink a pot of coffee and do the dishes?..fuck ya!
Am I the only one who sees that Bruno Mars and...
I have recently discovered that I am a cover hog
Any advice? I am an extremely active sleeper, this needs to stop.